MICKEY RAT Mitch's Page

Chapter One..Cheeseburgers in Paradise

I'm sitting at my makeshift computer/music station in my luxurious hacienda chomping on a cheeseburger. Monday night football on the TV. All the luxuries of home. I've been in town since Saturday afternoon . These first days I have been just meeting the "characters" in our neighbourhood. It just rained for 10 minutes. Just enough to cool down the 30 degree heat. This island is tempered by the constantly blowing tradewinds. It has been raining alot ( like.constantly for the last 4 months ) Just last month across the bay, they had a landslide and lost 6 hillside homes.

But on the cheerier side, you too, have 30 degrees ......and a blizzard I have heard. Yup the difference between 30 degrees C .and 30 degrees F " C " stands for " chaud " which loosely translated means " scorchingly hot " and " F " Frigid. ( Just thought I'd rub it in ) It actually dropped to 75 degrees today and with the breeze blowing they were saying it was cold. If they only knew.

Who said " a picture is worth a thousand words ? " Check out the photo. I could only think of one word. Wow ! This shot is taken 5 steps out my front door. It slopes down from where I stand , to the bay. Our condo my friend Randy and I are renting, is perched on a hill overlooking the city of Castries, the capital. Castries Harbour, in the foreground, is where all the cruise ships dock. It's just starting to be tourist season so 2-3 ships a day stop overnight or for 2 days stints. I expect the port to be rockin' by Xmas.

Meeting all the locals has been a treat. I came to this island on the invitation of my Windsor friends Joe and Judy. It is their place we are occupying. Stephanie , the complex owner and her husband Evans, who was a government legislator /judge, have been very kind. She asked me what we needed today. I told her a microwave and a toaster would be great( jokingly ). Back she comes with both. You can buy anything you want here. It's very costly. For everything. But everyone seems to be getting by. They " party hearty ". The Amazing Randy and I are the only little white boys in 'da hood, but staying here for 6 months kinda makes us " special "..different...so we are being treated like brothers. Randy came here last year for a few months and these are the people he has befriended.

You got, Goodfoot, the local "pub " proprietor. It seems in this country anyone ,can sell beer , anywhere. For that matter you can drink anywhere. This place could be the example of drinking and driving. There are no laws governing this. Accidents occur less frequently than you would think, usually by foreigners who are driving on the wrong side of the road.

Goodfoot's establishment is located in the rear of his accommodations. I decline to call them houses as such. There is room for 6 people max. in this tiny room that overlooks the bay. Today I shared some kind of island concoction with the Minister of External Affairs a Mr. John Odlum in this " shack " of a bar. This man flies needy people to Cuba at his own expense for eye surgery and other expensive serious operations. His constituency office is two doors down. He lives there too. He loves to dance to our country music. It's huge down here. It's really hysterical to me. When I told him I knew the words to every country song known to man.. I became his friend. He is all about helping the people and loves kids. Anything I can do to work with kids, he will be there for me. I told him I brought baseball gloves and want to teach the kids our game. He can't wait to play "catch"

The town elder / wiseman / ... / ... / Mr. Mitch... ( that makes me Mr. Mitch junior ...I kinda like that ) owns the "structure" I will call it, and it is the congregation place for " the who knows whoses" I'll send some pictures of the " way of life " later.

Fletcher : is the local police authority figure. Very well respected and honest. Everyone knows this man . He picked us up at the airport. Whoa ! I was white knuckling the whole time back from the airport, fearing for my life. They drive on the left hand side. Their steering wheel is on the right. I'm thinking, driving on the left with a car with our steering arrangement might not be so bad. ( cuz there are cars like that here too ) but very strange to get used to. Now when I cross the street I look to the right first. I'm terrified to get behind the wheel and go into town. No speed limits. The roads only get fixed when there is a special function ( World Cup Cricket events ) or near an election which happens every five years. So the roads...SUCK ! Potholes that would swallow your car. One part of the road has sunken from all the rain. Fun though. It's like being in a road race ....extremely winding turns and.. hills. Goats are" the " road hazard ..and walkers. So my options..buy a car or take the " Bus " . Whoa the bus Gus!....you tell the driver where you want to get off. When you disembark, he tells you the fare accordingly. They are old rickety vans that hold 9-10 people.

Guy...is the street people cabbie king. If you want it.he can get it. I gave him a Canadian flag for the window of his cab. He will definitely get a lot of the cruise ship tourists. He took us around today. We got cell phones activated. But unlike our country , you don't get charged for incoming calls. Then like the three little piggies ...we went to market this afternoon. Vendors everywhere. All I bought was fruit. And they got fruit. Grapefruit, lime, mangoes, breadfruit ( haven't tried it yet ), tangerines, coconuts and numerous other scary looking fruitish things. These all grow incidentally, out my back door but are not yet ready to pick.

Iper..is the head of the merchant association. He's a rastaman. His place in the market is the daily political forum . The gossip corner, if you will. There will also be an election here that promises to be interesting. But he sets his wares up and packs them away every day. His family ( wife and two babies ) all work the booth. All day ...everyday. Just like all the other 100 or so vendors..a tough way of life.

It is very different here. We went for a night walk with flashlights tonight. It dawned on us when we could hardly hear each other talking ( because of the noises from the jungle )...that we are in some " Survivor" type setting here and there's no going back. ( Not for six months anyway..lol )

....the saga will continue..singalongwithmitch..the Caribbean Cowboy

Chapter 2 Survivor.West Indies

There really is no way of describing the lifestyle down here. They have nothing ..they need everything..but need nothing. They are just emerging from a "third world " stigma. They drink a lot. Piton is the name of their beer and the twin peaks of their mountains . So the joke is you can't have one Piton , they come in pairs. It tastes like Sliemans maybe Heineken and there's lots of rum. Arrrggg matey !

We are working on setting up a company for numerous things..importing mostly. A dollar store would kill down here. Simple things to make their lives easier. Of course that's easy for us to say. Like last night Charmaine , a guy, ( the men have girly type names. Hillary, etc.) was wanting his baby to sleep and she's afraid of the dark so he either leaves the big light on or leaves a candle burning by the bed. We suggested a night light. They don't have them. A one dollar night light would actually save him money in electricity and a lot safer than burning a candle. Everything is 220 volts but through a transformer , it is adapted down to fit our plugs. I have to carry it when I use my stuff. Everyone uses them .

I have been complaining that I haven't seen any live music here. There is music in the air everywhere but live music is rare. So Fletcher my police friend dragged us out to a tourist area called Marigot Bay. ( I apparently am not a tourist because I am here for 6 months ) The bar/restaurant , a huge deck that juts out into the harbour, is the hang out for newlyweds and foreigners with money. I was invited to "jam" with the band. I got about three songs in and the owner offered me a gig.. Thursdays. My island friends marvel at this . I am here 4 days and already have work.

So today, I bought some speakers to complete my equipment ensemble so I can perform. ( I brought my piano ,guitar and a little PA system with me on the plane. ) I set it all up and pointed the speakers down the hill. Mr. Mitch, the elder, heard me singing..now every morning I am to sing him a song. He said 5 o'clock would be good. People get up with the sun ...at five . I graciously asked if it was okay if I made it 6.

That same night, I ended up at a place where a fellow called Zorro was teaching a class of future "pan" musicians. ( steel drum ) Again a little shack in the middle of nowhere. He is the man. He has won competitions all over and has a nice cushy job playing the resorts as the musical representative of the islands. I start classes next week. I'm sure there will be gigs with him as time goes on.

We also now have a Jeep at our disposal to get around, although I'm not so sure I want to drive. I'm telling you it's crazy. Steep hills , 90 degree turns, pitch black and drivers that drink. They also turn off the traffic lights at night as an act of conservation. Combined with the fact I have no clue where the roads go, driving on this island is " no joke business. " I am " vexed " as they say. ( rather concerned )

On our late night walk tonight , I am looking at the moon. If you can picture how our moon goes through it's phases. Waxing and waning . Their moon waxes from the bottom. So the quarter moon looks like a smile. Very cool. Like someone is looking down from above. They also have a totally different array of stars in the sky to this old sailor's delight.

Ahhhhhh...the first gig. I was thinking of everyone back home as the breeze was blowing through my new cornrow hairdo and I was in the middle of "wasting away again in Margaritaville. " I AM playing on an south sea island doing Jimmy Buffet proud. They do love our western music. ( and country and western too ) I am now "on call " at Chateau Mygo . Anytime they have a crowd the owner wants entertainment.

All the big cruise ships dock in the bay that I see from my place. Huge like floating cities, cruise ships anywhere from 12 to 24 stories high. The government here charges the cruise lines $20 for everyone person on the boat. Some of them carry thousands of passengers. Many ships do not want to pay so they refuel and don't stay. It really hurts the market vendors who depend on the tourists. The people are fed up and hope to make a change in government shortly.

I went into Burger King the other day and ran into some army guys with M16's and AK 47's slung around their shoulders. I was dying to take a picture but....It's something you would never see in Canada. It seems there are no rules here until you do something really nasty. Our friend Fletcher says anyone who points or pulls out a gun is shot dead, no questions asked. It's not all that long ago that criminals here were being hanged for the more serious charges. The police training academy is right next door to us , so my safety has never been an issue.

Did I hear that you had so much snow that the schools were closed ? It seems my timing has been impeccable. We get rain every morning like clockwork. Then it's beautiful all day. They welcome the rain because in Feb-April ...no rain at all.

I miss the simple things from home that we take so much for granted. I find myself being very resourceful. Randy calls me Macguyver.( The guy who always finds a way ) Our friend Russell from Leamington is the first brave soul who is coming to visit us on Monday. I sent him a " list " of things that would make my life a lot easier. I will " load up " anyone who is coming this way.

Mitch Macguyver

Chapter 3 Christmas in Paradise

We picked our friend Russell up at the airport this week. He flew in from Toronto. The international airport built by the Canadian Government is about the size of Windsor Airport. ( It seems Canada has done a lot to improve conditions here. ) It is located at the southern tip of the island. We live in the North. So yes I got to drive. A grueling one and a half hour drive down through the west coast mountains. We came back on the eastern side which is more paved roads. I wouldn't want to do either drive in the dark. After stopping at all the obligatory tourist spots we ended up chilling on an Atlantic Ocean beach. We helped these fishermen drag their boat out of the water. In their boat was a huge sea turtle who apparently had been caught in their net. It had to be 150 years old. His shell was a metre in diameter. So where is the picture you ask ? As it happened , we went to our friend Fletcher's wedding Saturday and Randy left my camera in the groom's room. I think I'll strap it to my body from now on. It's a shame to miss cool pictures like that. I constantly remind Randy what a goombah he was for leaving it there.

While everyone scurries around down here preparing for Christmas, and yes they do celebrate with the same traditions, we are out snorkeling in the Caribbean Sea. We have found a beach with a sheltered bay where the water is so blue you can see 20 - 30 feet down. We were swimming with a school of angel fish. Hundreds of them the size of my head. I was cursing myself for not buying that waterproof case for my camera so I could take pictures underwater. If any of you have that fish background screen on your messenger page....that's pretty much how it looks. Just beautiful!

Friday night we went to a " Jump ". The famous Friday night jumps. Basically a huge street dance in an isolated neighbourhood with excruciatingly loud music you could hear a mile away. Loud even for this deaf aging rock legend. People , drink and food everywhere. It was really the first time I saw " white folk " outside of the tourist areas. One doesn't venture into the " hood " without knowing someone. Although the people here are very accepting of foreigners sometimes there are places you just don't go especially at night. Every neighbourhood has a jump weekly. It's their entertainment at the end of the work week. It shut down around 2pm and then the " terrible trio " went looking for more action. We ended up at Rodney Bay which rocks for the tourists until there is nobody left awake. They literally dragged me up to sing karaoke, something I never do. ( My joke is " I get paid to sing " ) Just as I sang the last note , all the power in the area went out. Everyone was stopping me on the street afterwards saying how powerful my voice was and that it was all my fault. We laughed for an hour about that. I guess I'm infamous in Rodney Bay now.

I also did my audition at Sandals Resort this week. Nice spot ! My dream come true. A piano bar overlooking the water that I can walk to, that I don't have to bring any equipment to. All white tourists...I'm representin'.....

In my quest to live like the St. Lucian people, just like my buying fresh fish adventure, I ventured down to the end of my street one morning to buy meat....off a truck..loaded with dead pigs and cows.. a big stump of wood cut out for a chopping block and 2 guys armed with machetes. They had drained all the blood from the animals and collected it in a big aluminum kettle kind of cooking thing. They made a fire and started making their blood pudding. A little bread, a little seasoning and a lot of blood brought to a boil. The lady who helped me negotiate for my meat..cuz I still haven't mastered their language yet, stayed there all day waiting for this pudding to turn out. Two words...Ew yuck. You must go back through their history and realize that the original inhabitants were cannibals. That explains the lust for blood. Truly disgusting. But I'd drink it if I had to (or eat it or whatever they do with it) ( I just don't HAVE to . ) Then my meat selection. After they hack off the poundage you want with machetes, bone fragments and all, they weigh it and charge you accordingly. There is no particular cut or grade of meat. You get what you get. I still can't get used to seeing hair on the skin of the pig looking up at me from my bowl. They BBQ and stew their pork. I watched some ladies fighting over the head of the pig. The machete guy split it right down the middle with one good whack and they were literally fighting over the brains. Nothing goes to waste here. Fish and rice also figure a lot in their diet. After you get your fresh meat home , then you have to clean it up and freeze it in the portions you want. A lot of work just to eat. We have it pretty good up there at home now don't we ? During Christmas week the island had a shortage of eggs. The poor chickens were scared to lay because they knew they were going to be dinner at some point too. (It's not the favorite time of year for the animals.) I managed to be quite polite and try everything that was placed in front of me during the holidays. We were invited to everyone's house over the holidays. I still don't like my bananas cooked....and with sawfish...(bananas and fish definitely don't go together ) it's their national disgusting dish. I was having a hard time getting through that meal. So the moral of the story is.....when in Rome and you just can't do as the Romans do.starve. or go to the grocery store. At least I recognize some edible things there. Needless to say my pants are getting' a little loose around my skinnying butt.

New Years was cool..fireworks...music everywhere. No one counted down to midnight like we do so it was kind of anti climactic when someone announced it was indeed the new year.

We continue our quest of daily , looking for adventure wherever we can find it. We went to the highest point on the island, right in the middle of the island, in a town called Soufriere. It is so high that the roads are more cow paths. It rained the whole time we were Baja-ing around in the Jeep. No top on the Jeep cuz we were going to be cool. We were drenched. I couldn't take any photos because of the rain and misty fog that blanketed the whole area. I'm sure the view would have been great but I guess up there there is no such thing as a clear day. This town though has an extinct volcano. A volcano that you can drive into. Well that's what they tell you . It's still smoking like it wants to explode and smells like rotten eggs because of the sulphur. The pictures there weren't very revealing either because of the steam.

So we outside the city into the jungle. They call it a forest. Smack dab in the middle of the rainforest we came upon a "bath" house originally built by Napolean's troops as a retreat for relaxation. The large hot tubs are fed by the sulphur water from the mountain volcano. The water is black. It reminded me of when I put some dishsoap in my hot tub to make bubbles and left it for three days. Scuzzy. It is reputed to have amazing therapeutic qualities. It may well have.... the French must have spent way too much time relaxing ....they lost their quest for world domination. The Deboulay family , (Nappy's wife was a Deboulay from St. Lucia ,) has gently restored the place and now it's a touristy attraction. I was looking for exotic birds , snakes , lizards, maybe a monkey or two...nothing! What kind of a jungle island is this anyway ? Even the animals don't want to be here.

The next trek was to an old fort. This outcropping of rock is stuck at a point where the Atlantic and Caribbean Sea meet. It is joined to the mainland by a stone walkway. We had to scale a sheer cliff to get to what remains of the fort. If you look closely in the pictures , you can see where the two tides meet each other. That's kinda weird itself. It was a perfect spot to place a fort because one can see anything coming in by sea for miles in every direction. It's a shame that they don't restore their historical past like we do. But that's one of the reasons we are here, historical restoration for the government. We have not even started that portion of our program yet. There is an election coming and the party of choice is much more interested in that sort of thing. This whole island is just on the verge of a tourist explosion something the governing party has not paid much attention to over the past few years.

It seems everyone has been waiting for this latest installment of Mitch in adventure land...so enjoy. I will be incommunicado for the next two weeks. I have to fly to Acapulco and retrieve our "boat" , a 61 ft. yacht, which has encountered a few problems trying to get here. My trip through the Panama Canal and Caribbean Sea may be soon coming true. Wish me luck.....it'll be a cool adventure story. Argggggh....Meetch the cabin boy on the high seas.

If y ' all want to see more pictures ...please visit the band site www.themickeyratband.com and click on my link..Scotty ( head rat and guitarist ) has graciously posted all my ramblings on our web page for all to see.

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year everyone......

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